Monday, February 8, 2010

A few laughs for you instead of the sodomy II story!

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Tech support:
What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer:
A white one...
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Customer:
Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support:
Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer:
Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support:
That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer:
No
, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk.. Sorry....

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Tech support:
Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:
Your left or my left?



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Tech support:
Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer:
Hello... I can't print.
Tech support:
Would you click on 'start' for me and.
Customer:
Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.


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Customer:
Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...



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Customer:
I have problems printing in red...
Tech support:
Do you have a colour printer?
Customer:
Aaaah...................thank you.


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Tech support:
What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:
A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.



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Customer:
My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support:
Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:
No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support:
Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:
! OK
Tech support:
Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support:
That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer:
Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...


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Tech support:
Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer:
Is that 7 in capital letters ?



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Customer:
can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:
Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:
Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:
Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:
Five stars.



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Tech support:
What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:
Netscape.
Tech support:
That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:
Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.


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Customer:
I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the

mouse, it disappears.


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Tech support:
How may I help you?
Customer:
I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support:
OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:
Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?


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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support:
Are you running it under windows?
Customer:
'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is

under a window, and his printer is working fine.'


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And last but not least...


Tech support:
'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task

list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P ' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer:
I don't have a P.
Tech support:
On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer:
What do you mean?
Tech support:
'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer:
I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

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