Sunday, January 4, 2009

When we forgive, we allow wounds to heal: Gladys Staines

Read the account of a woman whose missionary husband and two children were burnt alive yet she forgave the killers. Forgiveness holds the key to healing and health.


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Friday, Jul 16, 2004

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When we forgive, we allow wounds to heal: Gladys Staines

By Prafulla Das and Malabika Bhattacharya



PLANNING TO COME BACK: Gladys Staines with her daughter Esther in Kolkata on Thursday en route to Australia. Mrs. Staines told The Hindu that she was leaving for ``family reasons [and also]_ to reflect'' and was planning to return after some time. On January 23, 1999, Mrs. Staines' husband Graham and their two sons, Philip, 10, and Timothy, 8, were burnt to death by a communal lynch mob in Manoharpur village in eastern Orissa. A sessions court sentenced Dara Singh to death and 12 others to life imprisonment for the horrifying murders. Photo: Sushanta Patronobish.

BHUBANESWAR/KOLKATA, JULY 15. Gladys Staines, widow of the slain Australian missionary, Graham Stuart Staines, is leaving the country — but not for good. But one thing is clear: she will now spend more time in Australia for family reasons.

``I am leaving India for some time. But I plan to come back,'' Mrs. Staines told The Hindu over phone from Kolkata this afternoon. Mrs. Staines, who left for Kolkata from Baripada on Wednesday, was due to catch a flight to Australia along with her 18-year-old daughter, Esther, late this evening.

Mrs. Staines had visited Australia a few times after Graham Staines and their two sons, Timothy, 8, and Philip, 10, were burnt to death by a mob at Manoharpur village in Orissa's Keonjhar district on the night of January 23, 1999. But this time her stay in Australia will be longer for two major reasons: her daughter, who has finished her schooling in Udhagamandalam, will be pursuing studies in medicine there and Mrs. Staines will attend to her ailing 91-year-old father at home.

She said she was leaving India for family reasons. "My reasons for leaving India are personal. I am tired and am looking for refreshment. I also need some time to reflect,'' Mrs. Staines added. "My 91-year-old father needs care and my daughter will be going to university to study medicine. But I will come back. When, I don't know. Who knows what will happen tomorrow?" she said.

The 53-year-old Mrs. Staines, a trained nurse, will be away on furlough, which allows a missionary to go home for six to eight months.

"I have nothing against India where I have received a great deal of love and affection," she said. The missionary's widow said she had nothing against anyone despite the gruesome killing of her husband and two sons five years back. However, she said she expected her husband's killers to face the consequences for what they had done. "When you do wrong, you face the consequences. Even when a child tells its mother, `Sorry, mummy,' the mother takes disciplinary action. It's the same with those people [the killers]." Mrs. Staines was referring to Dara Singh, the prime accused in Mr. Staines' murder. Singh was sentenced to death and 12 others to life imprisonment in September 2003.

Mrs. Staines, however, said she had forgiven the killers. "When we forgive, we allow the wounds to heal. Besides, by forgiving, we encourage other people to do the same."

Mrs. Staines has been running the Baripada Leprosy Home after her husband's killing, while trying to set up a referral hospital for leprosy patients near the leprosy home which Mr. Staines managed for several years. She said she was considering writing a book which would record her experiences in India, particularly in the last five years. "I want to keep the record straight for my family."

An Australian national, Mrs. Staines has been living in Baripada on a special visa. With her visa expiring in January next year, Mrs. Staines has already applied for its renewal, police sources in Baripada said.

``Gladys Staines has not left the country. She will surely return to Baripada to oversee the running of the Leprosy Home and set up the referral hospital for leprosy patients in memory of Graham Staines,'' said Kalicharan Singh, an employee of the Leprosy Home.

``Whenever she went to Australia, she used to call up to find out about the running of the Leprosy Home. This time she will stay there for a slightly longer period,'' he added.

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